CV Gaffes

We are hiring, and are screening resumes of different candidates for interviews. Some of the resumes that we came across are hilarious and I thought I might take the liberty of sharing it here (I am not disclosing the identity of the people, but if your CV does contain a line or two from these selected gems, then consider rewriting your resume!)

  • Seeking an environment to relish the constructive attitude and fulfill my appetite of success by facilitating the organization with my skills and abilities.
  • To use and enhance my educational as well as professional skills with dedications and commitment in the best possible way do as to acquire symmetric height for me and my organization.
  • To be an efficient part of a reputed organization and enhance my abilities while working to attain objectives of organization. I would like to work amongst Network of Skilled Professionals in a dynamic and highly demanding atmosphere.
  • Looking forward for a dynamic career in today’s challenging business environment Achieving organization objective as well as professional growth in an environment of co-operation of team spirit. Reach the top positioning my career and to attain the goal of life.
  • I want to have challenging career in growing organization, which gives opportunities to utilize the skills and contribute to rise up in the learning curve and which values professionalism, by demonstrating high energy levels, ethics and integrity.
  • To Pursue growth Oriented Career with a Progressive Company that provides scope to apply my knowledge & Skill which would also help me to Contribute my best to best Organization
  • To establish myself as a successful professional known for emerging victorious from challenging situations and completing given task thus helping company to new heights and fulfilling my dreams.

I do not understand why people keep career objectives in their resumes. Not only is it a waste of space, but also the recruiter does not glean anything (except maybe a chuckle or two) from it. Most of the objectives I have seen are bloated and filled with hot air – save the recruiter some trouble and directly cut to the chase.

  • Ha ha… hilarious. I have read such objectives and must admit that the first resume I made for myself had an objective similar to these. I didn’t find any sanity over there. But just went with the flow, thinking it was a selling point. It only took one interview to know how naive I was. :-P

  • By the way Disqus was not allowing me to comment using open id. :-)

    • Ohh, is there some bug with Disqus? I was thinking of switching to FB Comments.

  • Aina

    I agree with you Kida, career objective is a waste of space. I suggest keeping a professional summary instead which highlights key achievements.
    But I do understand that if you are fresh out of college, you don’t have much to put in your resume anyway, so you pad it with hot air. :)

    • Pad it with hot air, hoping it to go up ;-) only to find yourself flailing helplessly when pricked!!

      • Aina

        Yes. And actually thats the sad state of Indian education. Instead of doing co-op during summer, students are stuck roting the literature for the exams. Hence CVs full of hot air.

        That is one big advantage of education system in US. You have the option of taking any semester off to do a co-op.

  • Amruta

    good piece of advice!

  • Baba

    to co-cooperatively and synergestically participate in an open culture where growth is one of the paramount imperatives achieved through technological brilliance and organizational efficiency creating products and services which help customer reach their full potential while keeping the economic constraints on a priority for employees at all levels.

    read carefully, it means: i can write really long sentences without any punctuation marks. it’s a skill. i think you should call these people for an interview and hire the one who can make a longest sentence.

    • I am thinking of Dilbert Baba :-)

  • Good one Prasad :D

    “rise up in the learning curve” – hahahahaha!!