Tag: Funny

Meetings

Prasad Ajinkya1 Comment

Its 4pm today (read day-before-yesterday), when I have started doodling this blog post. Yes, I am one of those people who sometimes write their blog post on paper before they digitize it. This is being done in the throes or should I say meanders of a meeting. It had started 2 hours ago, and I am getting shudders remembering it. From the start, all of us knew that it was going to be a monster of a meeting.

Still, we managed to touch base upon pollination of flowers, onion and potato rates and how interesting the commodities market is becoming. We had assembled to finalize SAP process flows. We are a retail merchandising firm. I love meetings.

The ideal number of people in a meeting is 3-4, the moment it goes above that, you are asking for trouble. You will have atleast one person (like moi in this case) who will be doodling on a piece of paper.

Focus Prasad!! Focus!!!

Its 8pm now, and we have managed to cover some ground, but it looks pretty glum from my end. I decided to put together a small list that people like me can do when they end up in meetings such as these –

  • Think about the more recent interesting stuff you have read
  • Start a screensaver in your mind, I personally like the Hufo’s Smoke on a linux machine
  • Butt into the meeting with something that borders between sense and incoherence to make your presence felt
  • Try listening for a change and even add “value” to the meeting
  • Try playing your favorite tune in your head
  • Send stratified SMSes to your loved ones
  • Make lists such as these, preferably with a straight face
  • Think about new ways to customize your blog and your website
  • Order for coffee and biscuits
  • Move about the meeting as if people are calling you out for something important or the other
  • Drink enough coffee/water that you have to visit the water closet

Got any more? Do drop me in a line then!!

Cheers.

You’ve been an MBA for TOO long when…

Prasad Ajinkya2 Comments
  • You ask the waiter what the restaurant’s core competencies are.
  • You decide to re-org your family into a “team-based organization.”
  • You refer to dating as test marketing.
  • You can spell “paradigm.”
  • You actually know what a paradigm is.
  • You understand your airline’s fare structure.
  • You write executive summaries on your love letters.
  • Your Valentine’s Day cards have bullet points.
  • You think that it’s actually efficient to write a ten page presentation with six other people you don’t know.
  • You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performanceb review.
  • You believe you never have any problems in your life just “issues” and “improvement opportunities”.
  • You end every argument by saying “let’s talk about this off-line”.
  • You can explain to somebody the difference between “re-engineering”,”down-sizing”, “right-sizing”, and “firing people’s xxx”.
  • You actually believe your explanation in the above point.
  • You talk to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.
  • You start to feel sorry for Dilbert’s boss.
  • You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.
  • You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.
  • At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity
  • Your “deliverable” for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills.
  • You use the term “value-added” without falling down laughing.
  • You ask the car salesman if the car comes with a whiteboard and Internet connection.
  • You give constructive feedback to your dog.
  • You give your boyfriend / girfriend a golden handshake on the way out!
  • You can add value to this list by contributing to it