You’ve been an MBA for TOO long when…

  • You ask the waiter what the restaurant’s core competencies are.
  • You decide to re-org your family into a “team-based organization.”
  • You refer to dating as test marketing.
  • You can spell “paradigm.”
  • You actually know what a paradigm is.
  • You understand your airline’s fare structure.
  • You write executive summaries on your love letters.
  • Your Valentine’s Day cards have bullet points.
  • You think that it’s actually efficient to write a ten page presentation with six other people you don’t know.
  • You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performanceb review.
  • You believe you never have any problems in your life just “issues” and “improvement opportunities”.
  • You end every argument by saying “let’s talk about this off-line”.
  • You can explain to somebody the difference between “re-engineering”,”down-sizing”, “right-sizing”, and “firing people’s xxx”.
  • You actually believe your explanation in the above point.
  • You talk to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.
  • You start to feel sorry for Dilbert’s boss.
  • You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.
  • You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.
  • At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity
  • Your “deliverable” for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills.
  • You use the term “value-added” without falling down laughing.
  • You ask the car salesman if the car comes with a whiteboard and Internet connection.
  • You give constructive feedback to your dog.
  • You give your boyfriend / girfriend a golden handshake on the way out!
  • You can add value to this list by contributing to it

Democracy

I just finished reading the sixth book of the Dune series. The story behind the plot is so esoteric that I do not want to divulge the details of the same in this blog … what is more interesting is that how the book sheds lights on issues like religion, governance and governance using religion.

If you decide to reflect on the same, then you will realize that there is some sense to it all. Right from our childhood, we have been taught that democracy is a government of the people, by the people, for the people. Is that really true … from school we come into real life all misty-eyed and full of ideals, then real life hits us with shades of grey and a despairing need of black and white.

The very leaders we adulated over, and voted into power, we know are of no good. The false promises that they make will be of no use. Thus, democracy itself is based upon and runs on mistrust. I do not trust my government, thats the whole reason for having an opposition party in parliament so that I have a double check on them.

The entire system is based layer upon layer of mistrust. The lower layer knowing and not trusting the higher layer. And surprisingly, it works!! Well, thats just democracy for you. What will heckle you further, is that when you think of a governing system which is hierarchical (like democracy) and is based on trust (rather than mistrust), then we have dictatorship!!

Funny, isnt it, whats good at an individual level, is not a necessary thing at a cumulative level? hmm…

God as a Brand

blue skies

I tend to have these philosophical discussions with my roomies. It can meander from God to Good and from behavior to endeavor. The works. If I document these entire discussions, then that itself would be a blog. So, one fine day we were discussing God. I know, its such a great topic … if only I had a rupee for every time god was discussed on a blog, I would not need to work then.

We were discussing God as a Brand … and a very successful brand at that as well. Imagine, even the non-believers discuss god … effectively people who refuse to accept the existence of the brand also accept the brand. Can there be a greater brand recall and brand value. I think not!!

Also, imagine, each religion has a different brand of its own. So the concept of god is actually a category and not a brand :-). Being a Hindu, I can only say that my religion has a multi-pronged strategy … multiple brands. A good example of Segmentation-Targeting-Position. What say?

Life as we know it

vista

My sister wrote this one … just too real!! Kudos Arati!!

I trod upon the path of Life,

Looking down at my feet each step.

Suddenly I raised my eyes,
Saw this wondrous sight,
The unknown world I left behind,
Spread upon the mountainside.
Somehow I had failed 2 see,
The places I had passed thro’,
In the quest 2 see my road ahead.
Soon in the distance loomed my goal,
Relieved 2 reach it, if truth be told,
Strange indeed that it turned out 2 be,
A seat on the summit,
Looking o’er the vista below.

उबुन्तु

ubuntu

मैं मेरा पहला पोस्ट हिन्दी मैं कोशिश कर रह हूँ। सोचा था कि लिनुक्स पे पोस्ट लिखूंगा, पर मेरी हिन्दी देख के मैं हक्का-बक्का हो गया। अच्छी चीज हैं न ये?

Sun takes over MySQL

This just in

With Sun being now the hands-down largest contributor to the opensource community, corporate users can only wish that MySQL retains its brand image.

Else we can always see Mr. McNealy smiling all the way to the bank.

Updating this post after seven years now, MySQL has also been forked into a separate RDBMS which ensures that the open source movement is strong, this fork is better known as MariaDB.